


The Plan

by st_mick



Series: Niffler [29]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jack Has a Plan, M/M, Panic Attack, more snuggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-26 02:49:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20036668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/st_mick/pseuds/st_mick
Summary: Owen told Ianto that Jack plans to leave with the Doctor, and Ianto panics.  Jack finds himself telling the wizard a bit about his past in order to explain his plan.  Theodophilus visits his grandson and helps him begin to rebuild his psychic shielding.  Ianto surprises Jack with an unexpected request.





	The Plan

Draco looked sharply at Owen, then back to his friend. “Nif?” he put a hand on Ianto, who had gone from abnormally pale to chalk-white. Draco snapped off a patronus to summon Jack.

Within seconds, Ianto had broken out in a cold sweat and was hyperventilating. Jack felt the panic along the bond even before Draco’s arctic fox called him to the med-bay. He ended his call with Theodophilus and ran to Ianto. “What’s happened?”

“Sorry, Jack,” Owen looked pale and shaken. “I thought you’d told him.”

Ianto was curled up on the bed, shaking violently and breathing erratically. Owen was holding an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth.

“Ianto?” Jack reached out for his lover, but Ianto recoiled at his touch.

Jack felt Ianto closing the door to their bond again and began to panic, himself. “Oh, no you don’t,” he gritted, climbing onto the bed and taking Ianto’s head in his hands. He pressed his forehead to Ianto’s.

“No!” Ianto cried.

Jack found himself running along their bond towards the door. He threw his arm between the doors, just as Ianto closed them. “Starbuck’s!” Ianto screamed.

Jack cried out in pain, but kept himself wedged in the door, not allowing it to close. “TARDIS!” he shouted. Taking a breath, he tried to calm himself as Ianto released the door. “Ianto, let me explain. Hear me out, Love. Don’t just take Owen’s word for this; he doesn’t know what I’ve planned, or why.”

“You’re leaving,” Ianto sobbed.

“I told you. I won’t leave without your permission,” Jack reassured. 

He was going to fucking _kill_ Owen!

“But you _want_ to go,” Ianto stepped away from the door and sat on the steps. It was raining – a cold, hard rain. Ianto was soaked. He looked utterly defeated.

Jack began plotting ways to make Owen suffer. He sat beside Ianto, not touching him. “I don’t want to leave you, Kitten. Never that, I swear. But there’s something I want to do for you. For us. Won’t you let me explain? If you don’t like the idea, I won’t do it.”

Ianto was weeping uncontrollably. Jack pulled out of his mind and wrapped him in his arms and held him, making soothing noises and rubbing his hand along Ianto’s spine as the younger man wrapped himself around him, again. He was shaking violently. Jack was fairly certain he was in shock.

He glared at Owen, who apologized several times as he administered a painkiller. Draco managed to administer a calming potion without choking his friend. They both retreated under Jack’s glower, hoping the older man could calm their friend.

It took a while, but Ianto eventually calmed. _I’m sorry, Jack,_ he was doing the telepathic equivalent of whispering. _Of course you are free to leave, if that’s what you want._

Jack could feel the despair in Ianto’s words, and his heart ached. “Just hear me out, Love. I wasn’t even going to talk to you about this until you were completely healed. And I wasn’t going to leave until you told me if or whether you were ready. I swear, Ianto. I’m not leaving you.”

Ianto nodded, but Jack could practically feel the thought, _But you want to_.

“I want to make things right between us,” he answered the unspoken sentiment. “I…” he sighed. “I suppose I should start at the beginning. I was born in the year 5047.” 

Ianto was surprised out of whatever remained of his panic attack. He had not expected Jack to confide in him. These types of details were parsed out sparingly, because it was difficult for Jack to speak about his past. Ianto went completely still, hoping Jack would keep speaking.

He needn’t have feared, because Jack was determined to make him understand. He pulled his wizard closer and continued, “The invasion was in 5061. I ran away and joined up within a year of that,” he said sadly. “Fought for a few years, then joined the Time Agency.” He took Ianto’s hand and held it to his vortex manipulator. “This has kept track of my linear age, no matter what time zone I’ve been in, or how long. Care to guess how old I am?”

Ianto shook his head and buried his face in Jack’s neck, breathing in his scent and trying to calm his heart, which was still hammering in his chest. He was trying to listen to Jack, but his mind was still all but overwhelmed at the idea that Jack was going to leave him. 

Jack continued to intersperse kisses with his words, and he ran his hands along Ianto’s back, trying to soothe him. He felt the jackrabbiting beat of Ianto’s heart and poured love and comfort along their bond. “Not a fair question, really. Might help you to know that the average human lifespan in the fifty-first century is two hundred years. I was eighty-six years old when I died on the game station.”

Ianto shuddered at the mention of Jack’s first death. He pulled Jack closer, fear lending strength to his limbs. He did some quick arithmetic in his head. “You’re two hundred and twenty-six?” he rasped.

Jack chuckled. “Yep. Exactly two centuries older than you, but none the wiser.” His hands were now drawing patterns in Ianto’s back, shapes and numbers and letters. He sniffed as tears of his own began to fall.

Ianto felt the hot tears as they landed on his scalp, and he found that Jack’s tears were his undoing, once more. _Gods, why can’t I stop crying?_

Jack kissed him and soothed, “The Doctor says your defenses are gone. It’s going to take a bit of time to rebuild them. I mentioned it to your taid, and when you’re well enough, he’s going to help you rebuild them. I’ll help too, if you’d like.”

Ianto took a breath, ignoring the pain that told him it would soon be time for more potion. _So where is the Doctor taking you?_

“Nowhere, without your permission,” Jack asserted. “I’m willing to wait as long as you need me to.”

“Where is it you want to go, Jack?” Ianto’s voice was rough with damage and emotion.

“Shh, try not to speak, Love,” Jack continued running his hands over Ianto’s head and down his back, still trying to soothe. “Have I ever told you about my parents?”

_A little_.

“They were a monogamous couple,” Jack said, and felt Ianto sigh. It was the only indication the younger man allowed of his exasperation. “I know, I’ve always said it was rare, and it was. They weren’t the only ones, but they were definitely in the minority. They…” he sighed. “They were so perfect, together,” he said wistfully. His heart ached, because he felt to blame for how they ended.

_Wasn’t your fault, Jack._

Jack chuckled and kissed Ianto’s head, turning his own from side to side to feel the silken stubble with his lips. “I guess I know that, most days,” he allowed himself to admit. “They were how you said Lisa described her parents. But by the fifty-first century, it’s not left to chance as to whether your parents are a healthy couple, inclined to teach by example.”

He felt Ianto begin to settle against him. He was still clinging to Jack, but he was slowly molding himself to Jack’s body, very slowly allowing himself to relax against him. _What did they do?_

Jack kissed his temple again. “Relationships were at the heart of every aspect of our culture. So there were rituals and lessons, as soon as a child reached puberty. It was a sort of… coming of age custom. And then refresher lessons and recommitment rituals, as the years passed. I’d just completed my first lessons and was awaiting the ceremony when the invasion happened.”

_What sort of lessons?_

Jack sighed. “That’s the problem. I spent my years in service picking and choosing and reinterpreting what I’d learned, to justify living however I wanted. Disconnected from home, I lost touch with the lessons. And then the Time Agency…” he paused before continuing, his voice bitter, “They spoiled everything they touched. By the time I met Rose and the Doctor, I’d adopted some bastardized version of what I’d learned. Seventy years with no refreshers is more than enough time to forget the truth of what I’d originally learned. And then…”

Ianto nuzzled his neck and kissed his collarbone. A gesture of comfort that made Jack’s heart ache. He was meant to be the one comforting Ianto. He sighed. “Ianto, I haven’t been in a proper relationship in almost fifty years. And that was my marriage to Lucia. It wasn’t exactly the picture of health.”

Ianto gave him another nuzzle. _It’s all right, Jack._

“No, it’s not. You deserve better. That’s why,” he took a deep breath. “That’s why I want the Doctor to take me to Boeshane,” he felt Ianto pull him closer, and he ran his hands along the younger man’s back, again. “I want to complete the lessons, again. I want to finish the ritual. Complete the ceremony.” He blew out a breath, feeling his tears falling again. “I want to remember where I come from, Ianto. I want to remember who I am, so I can be who you need me to be. Who you deserve me to be.”

Ianto was crying again as well, shaking his head. _Jack, you don’t need to change for me. I love you. I…_

“Shh,” Jack whispered, kissing Ianto’s head, again. “This isn’t about me changing for you. It’s about me _remembering_, for _us_.” He gave Ianto a squeeze. “Ianto, I hurt you, very badly, because I forgot where I came from.”

He sighed and this time as he pulled Ianto closer, the younger man allowed himself to be draped over Jack. “I am two _centuries_ older than you. One thing I do remember is that it should be up to the older partner to lead, in the relationship. You’ve been leading, Ianto, and it’s not that it isn’t wonderful that you learned so much from Lisa. But it is appalling that most of what I now know about a healthy relationship I’ve learned from her, through you. That’s not fair to you. And it’s not fair when we encounter things that your twenty-six years haven’t given you the experience to handle.”

_Like when I lose my shit, run, and shut down our bond?_

Jack chuckled at the ironic tone of Ianto’s question. At least the wizard realized that he had not made the most ideal choice. It was one of the few actions he’d ever seen from his young lover that had betrayed Ianto’s youth and inexperience. But it also spoke to his trauma. A few short years with Lisa had not been enough to overwrite the abuse and neglect from his family, though it had gone a hell of a long way. 

But that’s where Jack’s responsibility came in. It was up to him, as the elder partner, to take responsibility for his own healing, and in turn to help Ianto heal. This much he knew. He held Ianto close as the younger man continued to weep. He was beginning to worry. “Hey. Hey, do you need some more of that calming potion?”

Ianto was becoming concerned, himself. He couldn’t stop. He felt as though his entire being was a raw nerve. He was still hurting from everything that had passed between him and Jack, he felt incredibly emotional about the battle with the virus, and the reason for Jack’s desire to go back to his home colony made his heart _ache_ with a happiness that almost drowned out his feelings of unworthiness. Almost. And he felt a visceral panic at the thought of Jack flying off with the Doctor, again.

_I’m sorry. I’m such a mess._

In the next moment, the Doctor was in the med-bay with them, looking concerned. “May I?” he asked quietly. He had felt Ianto’s distress from inside the TARDIS. 

Actually, the TARDIS had felt Ianto’s distress and relayed it to the Doctor.

“Ianto?” Jack asked.

Ianto gave a sniff and nodded, then felt the Doctor’s hands on his head. Next he felt a cool, soothing presence _in_ his head. The Doctor’s voice was soft as he said, “You’re right that you’re a bit of a raw nerve, right now. I can soothe some of it, but much of what you need is time, rest, and to rebuild your shielding.” He paused before continuing. “I would suggest that you only have one person help you, and it might be best if that isn’t Jack.”

Jack opened his mouth to protest, but then snapped it shut again. Ianto needed to have independence from him, and he would never have full autonomy if Jack had the keys to the castle, so to speak. Jack was already regretting forcing his way in to keep Ianto from shutting himself away from their bond, again. He nodded his agreement, seeing the Doctor register surprise at his acquiescence.

Ianto was still trembling, though not as violently as before. He had calmed considerably, but he was by no means composed. The Doctor sent him calming energy, even as Jack continued to pour love and comfort along their bond. It took some time, but the younger man slowly unwound. It had been a grueling two hours since he woke, and he was wrecked.

Draco and Owen returned and administered potions and painkillers. With many reassurances, Jack extricated himself from Ianto’s hold and asked for Donna and Toshiko to join Ianto. Soon enough, he surrendered to sleep, once more. It did not escape Jack’s notice that Ianto was still crying, the tears not absorbed by the mask falling gently into Toshiko’s hair as he clung to her like a favorite stuffed lovey. From her expression, she didn’t mind, though she was clearly upset at her friend’s pain.

Jack took Owen by the ear and dragged him to the conference room. “What the hell were you thinking?” It took every ounce of self-control not to shout at the medico. 

“I’m sorry, Jack. I was just trying to keep him talking. I wasn’t thinking.”

Jack huffed and turned away. “I had to force myself into his mind. Do you have any idea what kind of violation that was, on top of everything else?”

“I’m sorry, Jack,” Owen ran a hand through his hair. “I just assumed…” He looked at Jack, his eyes pained. “You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, or set his recovery back. You have to know that.”

“Gods, it’s like we can’t stop fucking up,” Jack muttered. Then he took a good look at Owen. They had all been running flat out, for a week, now. But whereas most of the team had taken the opportunity to sleep (even if it was snuggled up to their goopy teammate), Owen had not. He had either been watching over Ianto or performing autopsies. On children.

Jack huffed. He realized he should have made Owen pace himself. The young doctor looked dead on his feet. He sighed. “Get out of here, Owen. I don’t want to see you back until tomorrow, preferably in the afternoon. Get some actual sleep. It’s a wonder you’re even still upright. You need a break.”

Owen opened his mouth to protest, but Jack held up his hand. “I’ll call in Martha, and get Draco to ask Susan to cover. You both need a break.” He reached out and squeezed Owen’s shoulder. “We’ll be fine. He’s okay, now. But we don’t want something like this or worse to happen because you’ve worn yourself out. Just go.”

Owen nodded and turned to leave. He hesitated at the door. “I really am sorry, Jack.”

“I know, Owen. It’s all right. Just get some rest, yeah?”

***

As Owen and Draco left, and Jack tried very hard not to notice that they left together, Draco attempting to assuage Owen’s guilt over putting his foot in it, there was a loud _pop_ as three people apparated into the hub.

Jack was surprised as one broke away from the other two. “Dad!” Alice exclaimed, running towards him.

“Alice?” Jack let out a surprised ‘oomph’ as she flung herself into his arms. “What is it?”

“Are you all right?” she asked in the same moment. “I’m so sorry about Ianto. And I am so, so sorry that I made you keep us a secret from him. He didn’t deserve that, and neither did you.”

Jack was looking at Alice, incredulous. She’d called him ‘Dad’. Like she’d _meant_ it. He’d never allowed himself to dream that she would do that. And she…

He looked at Theodophilus and Harriet, who were smiling at them. They both looked rather… satisfied with themselves. Jack just hoped whatever they had done had not involved magic or manipulation of any kind. “Thank you for that, but…”

“Harriet and Theodophilus have been telling me all about what Torchwood really does, and about the things you’ve done, and about Ianto.” She looked at him, her eyes shining. “I’m so sorry, it was nothing like what my mother told me.”

“I know, Sweetheart. Thank you for hearing them out.”

Alice looked around. Her eyes widened when she spotted Myfanwy. “Is that… Oh, can we bring Steven here, to see it?”

“Her name is Myfanwy. And yes, I think Steven would enjoy that. But maybe wait until Ianto has recovered. He has a way with her that none of the rest of us do.” Jack turned his head towards the med-bay, and Alice saw distress flash across his features.

“How is he?” Theodophilus asked, finally stepping forward.

“He’s…” Jack gave a sniff, and Alice drew him into another embrace. Jack held onto her tightly, the stress of Ianto’s multiple deaths and dire condition finally getting the better of him. He indulged in her comfort for a moment, then gave another sniff and released her, not wishing to alarm Theodophilus. “He’s much better,” he said, his eyes wet. “He’s making good progress, now.”

“Can you tell us what happened?” Harriet asked.

“He’s sleeping, now. I can show you, and tell you what happened, unless you want to see him, first.”

Theodophilus inclined his head. “I think I need to know what happened, first. To prepare myself,” he added. Jack’s state had taken him by surprise.

Jack spent the next half hour explaining the events of the invasion, and the part Ianto played in stopping it. The only interruption came when Jack spoke of apparating to the ship.

“On the far side of the moon?” Theodophilus asked, his voice shocked.

Jack nodded. Kingsley, Hermione, Harry, and Luna had all had similar reactions, which had echoed Draco’s. Shock and awe. Jack was certain they had only begun to scratch the surface of Ianto’s power, though he also suspected that the vacuum of space had a bit to do with the distance Ianto had been able to apparate. After all, Ianto was the first wizard to apparate into space, so very little was known about it.

He would ask the Doctor. The Time Lord seemed to know a surprising amount about wizards and magic; perhaps he could speak to whether this was a natural part of apparition, as it related to space, or an indication of Ianto’s power. Of course, it could always be both…

He shook himself and continued, trying to be gentle as he described Ianto’s injuries, how he had carried the constructive wave to the alien ship, and how his first awakening had been less than ideal. They sat down, and Martha brought tea as Jack described the psychic virus and its effect on Ianto’s ability to heal. 

Harriet gripped Theodophilus’ hand as he absorbed the disturbing news that his grandson had died. Twice. He gave a sniff as Jack described Ianto’s emotional state since reviving. 

“I tried to explain on the phone, but I didn’t really understand what it means, that his defenses are gone,” Jack said quietly. “He’s hurting, and there’s so much that I need to do, to make things right, between us. But he needs to rebuild his shielding, and it wouldn’t be right for me to take part in that.”

“Why not?” Alice asked, curious. “I would think you would be ideal, as his partner.”

“Jack has violated Ianto’s trust,” Theodophilus said quietly, reaching out and squeezing Jack’s hand to soften the words. All the same, Jack hung his head and let out a sob. “And I know you’ll make it right, Son. No one who has seen you two together can doubt your regard for him.” He turned to Alice. “Partners can help a great deal, with shielding, but they… tend to know one another a bit too well.”

Jack looked up at Theodophilus, who was still holding both his and Harriet’s hands. The older man sighed and continued, “Aeron was… a difficult child. He was a squib,” he looked at Alice and added, “born with no magic. But he was very empathic. And he… he knew how to use that, to attack. I had to help my Wynne to reinforce her shielding, to protect herself. But that made it easier for me to hurt her, even if it was inadvertently.” He sighed. “No, partners meddling with one another’s shielding can cause more pain and even codependence. I know Ifan would not want that, and nor would Jack.”

Alice nodded, understanding. “If you know someone’s shielding, you know how to get around it.”

“Yes, and the mind is sacrosanct. Particularly to someone like Ifan.” Theodophilus saw Jack’s look of curiosity. “He is even more of an empath than his father. It’s what makes him such a natural and powerful Legilimens. And I suspect it is why the Wampus Cat is his animagus.”

“I didn’t realize that, about him being an empath,” Jack said, frowning. How could he not know that?

Theodophilus chuckled. “That is because he is also an extremely powerful Occlumens.” He sat back, trying to decide where to begin. “Albus Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard we have ever known.” He frowned. “At least, until now,” he admitted, not feeling entirely at ease that his grandson might be even more powerful. That tended to invite trouble. He sighed. “He knew the children in his charge. Minerva recently told me that from the moment he met Ianto, Albus began grooming him as an Occlumens. At first, in subtle ways, but later with lessons with one of the most powerful wizards ever to practice occlumency.”

“Severus Snape,” Jack muttered. Ianto had spoken of Professor Snape with a combination of awe, exasperation, and sadness.

“Yes. Snape’s story is a sad one, but he was a brave man, and a powerful wizard. I believe Ifan was one of the few students who was not a Slytherin that Snape ever took under his wing. And it is fortunate, because Ifan learned his lessons, well. Minerva has said he is at least as good as Snape ever was. So he is a strong enough Occlumens that his empathy has never put him at a disadvantage. I believe he will need only a bit of reinforcement from me in order to rebuild.”

Jack sighed. “He is very tired and weak. And either the pain medication or the pain itself has made his magic inaccessible. And his emotional state…” he went on to explain Ianto’s vulnerability, and the missteps both Owen and Jack had made, earlier that day.

Theodophilus nodded. “I understand, Jack. I believe I am ready to see him, now.”

Jack led them to the med-bay, where Ianto was huddled between Donna and Toshiko, still holding on to the latter so tightly that Jack worried for her ability to breathe properly. Harriet and Alice raised eyebrows at the sight, and Jack was thankful that the goop was now gone, because at least Donna and Toshiko were fully clothed. He shrugged. “He was panicking, and the only way he’d let go of me was if he had someone else to hold on to.”

Both women’s expressions changed when they saw the tear-soaked eye mask. Jack sighed as he noticed that Tosh’s hair was wet – even in his sleep, Ianto continued to weep. He reached out and stroked Ianto’s head as he asked, “Any change?”

Donna sat up on an elbow, then pulled the blanket more securely around Ianto, rubbing her hand briskly up and down his arm. “He’s still cold, and I think he’s having nightmares.”

Jack had not felt anything from their bond that would have made him think ‘nightmare’. Then again, what he did feel from their bond was a consistent, low-level sort of panic and dread, so bad dreams could very well have snuck in without changing the tone of what he was feeling. He sighed. “Any idea what about?”

“Given how he’s holding on to me, I’d guess Brynblaidd,” Tosh squeaked.

Theodophilus reached out and placed his hand on his grandson’s head. “Ifan,” he whispered, distressed at seeing the state Ianto was in, despite having been as well-prepared as Jack could manage.

Ianto turned his head and gave a small groan. “Taid?”

“Fy ngwas,” Theodophilus sniffed.[1]

Ianto released Toshiko, who quickly climbed out of the bed so Theodophilus could sit next to his grandson. The elderly wizard caught the flailing hand in his left hand and kept his right on Ianto’s head. “Bachgen annwyl,” he kissed Ianto’s hand.[2]

“Helpwch fi. Mae'n brifo,” Ianto choked.[3]

“He is in pain,” Theodophilus glanced up from Ianto, looking from Jack to Martha.

“Ianto, give me a number,” Martha frowned. It had not been that long since his last dose.

Ianto shook his head. “Na. Clywed popeth… _teimlo_ popeth. Mae'n brifo… cymaint.”[4]

Theodophilus blinked several times. He held a hand up to forestall Martha and looked at Jack. “Can you share your psychic shielding?”

Jack’s eyes went wide. He hadn’t even considered. Of course, he hadn’t realized that Ianto was such a sensitive empath. Now that he knew… he bit off a curse. The younger man had been bombarded by the fear, concern, worry, and panic of everyone in the hub – and possibly everyone on the Plass, as well, depending on the range of his sensitivity. He was dealing with everyone else’s _stuff_, along with his own. 

“Yes. Yes, of course.” He went to the head of the bed and pressed his forehead to Ianto’s. “Ianto, I can help shield you. Will you let me share with you, so you can start rebuilding?”

Ianto released his grandfather’s hand and reached up, placing his hand on the back of Jack’s head. “Please,” he rasped.

Within moments, Jack straightened. Ianto immediately seemed more at ease. His hand dropped to his side, and Theodophilus took it, once more. “How about we set up some basic shielding, so you aren’t relying on Jack,” he said, his own demeanor calmer, now.

Donna got up, as well. She piled pillows behind Ianto, to keep him comfortable as he and his grandfather worked for an hour or so on some rudimentary shielding. By the time they got to a good stopping point, Ianto was exhausted, but it was not yet time for his meds, and Owen had instructed Martha to try to feed Ianto, to see what he could tolerate.

They helped him sit up, and propped him up against Jack’s chest. Theodophilus held his hand and talked to him as Toshiko fed him broth. Once he had eaten a bit, Theodophilus, Harriet and Alice said their goodbyes and departed. Soon after, the Doctor returned to the med-bay with a gadget.

“This is just a loan, but it might make you more comfortable,” he said, holding the small metal object. “It’s called a leech. It assists with… waste disposal. So catheters and bed pans won’t be needed.”

Ianto looked surprised and grateful. He gave a tired ‘thank you’ to the Doctor, who showed Martha where to place the device on Ianto’s lower back before Jack helped him to lie back down. She then administered his potions and medications and left with the Doctor to have a cup of tea in the TARDIS’ kitchen.

“Jack,” Ianto reached out. He was exhausted, but he needed to speak with Jack.

“Yes, Love,” Jack climbed into the bed and pulled Ianto close.

Ianto felt off-balance and wrung out. Even with Jack’s shielding protecting him and the beginnings of his own protection being rebuilt… What was left was his own, and it was still too much.

Ianto clung more closely to Jack. “I… I can’t stand the thought of you leaving. I don’t want you to go.”

“Shh,” Jack began, but then he noticed Ianto was weeping again, shaking his head to quiet Jack.

_But I need for you to go._

Jack felt as though he had been punched in the gut. “What?”

Ianto held him even more tightly. _You… _His voice was so quiet in Jack’s head that he had to strain to understand. _I understand why you did it, but I… need…_

Jack was now crying, as well. “I’m so sorry, Ianto. I panicked. I didn’t mean…”

_I know, Jack. You had to do it. But…_

“I violated your trust,” Jack sighed, echoing Theodophilus’ words.

Ianto went still. _What?_ Then he shook his head. _No, Jack. That’s not it, at all. It’s just…_ He sighed. _If you don’t go, you’ll end up being a part of my shielding. And I don’t think that would be good, for either of us._

“What?” Jack frowned.

Ianto hugged him more tightly. _I can’t help but reach for you, Jack. Don’t you feel it?_

Jack then realized that, in addition to their bond, he could feel Ianto’s mind reaching out to his, just as distinctly as his body was wrapping around Jack’s. “Huh,” he said, surprised. It was not a bad feeling. It was actually quite nice. But he knew it was, at best, unhealthy. At worst, it could be dangerous, if allowed to continue.

_My shielding – my occlumency – keeps me from doing it, but without them, the reaching seems to be a natural by-product of my love for you and fear of losing you._ He sighed again. _I think we all know I have the tendency to hold on to things, when I shouldn’t._

“I happen to love your tenacity,” Jack whispered against Ianto’s head. His heart ached. He didn’t want to leave Ianto. Not yet. He wasn’t ready. Nor was Ianto. But it needed to be soon. What Ianto called ‘reaching’ – forming unshielded mental and emotional attachments – was addictive and dangerous. If they didn’t separate very soon, they wouldn’t be able to. He sniffed. “When?”

“Tomorrow, I think,” Ianto said. “The Doctor can probably tell you more precisely.” He pulled Jack closer again. _Everything still hurts, Jack. I can’t have you stay right now, but I don’t want you to go. I feel like I’m being torn apart._

“Yeah,” Jack said. He could feel his lover’s pain. “But it will ease, once I go.”

_Please say you’ll come back._

“Hey,” Jack leaned back and kissed Ianto. The younger man gasped in surprise, but quickly returned the kiss. “I’m only going for you, Love. While I’m completing the training, you are going to rebuild your shields. By the time I get back, you’ll be better healed and re-shielded.”

_How long will you be gone?_

“Theodophilus was really pleased with how much you got done, in just an hour. Another hour or so, and you won’t need my help to shield you from stray junk. That’s really good progress. He thinks you’ll only need a week, at the outside, and that’s if you pace yourselves fairly slowly.”

_How long will it be, for you?_

Jack hesitated. “Four to six weeks, but that’s allowing for work or school. I may be able to do it faster, if I’m completely focused on it.”

Ianto nodded. Jack could feel his exhaustion. _We should probably speak with Taid and the Doctor in the morning, and plan from there._

“In the meantime, I am going to hold you as close as you can bear, and kiss you and sing you to sleep,” Jack settled himself in to do just that.

***

[1] My boy

[2] Dear boy

[3] Help me. It hurts

[4] No. Hear everything… _feel_ everything. It hurts… so much

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is Jack's plan for making things right with Ianto. It will be interesting to see how it plays out in their relationship, as they move forward.
> 
> Hope everyone likes it. It needed to be a sort of significant gesture, but simply moving in with Ianto, when Jack wasn't ready before all this began, seemed too pat. And making even more of a commitment felt even more wrong. Although... I don't think Jack realizes the significance of what he has decided to undertake. Which is sweetly clueless, actually.
> 
> Still a section to go - interesting things happen while Jack is off-world. Dun-dun-dunnnnnnnn….. :D
> 
> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think of Jack's plan. :)


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